Romance scammers’ favorite lies exposed

Romance scammers tell all kinds of lies to steal your heart and money, and reports to the FTC show those lies work. Last year’s romance scam numbers looked a lot like 2021 again, and it’s not a pretty picture. In 2022, nearly 70,000 people reported a romance scam, and reported losses totaled a staggering $1.3 billion.[1] The median reported loss: $4,400.[2]

These scammers pay close attention to the information you share, and do not miss a partner who becomes your perfect match. You like a thing, so it’s their thing too. You want to calm down. They are also ready. But there is one exception – you want to meet in real life, and they can’t. Reports show that their excuse is often baked right into their false identity. Claiming to be on a distant military base is the most popular excuse, but “offshore oil rig worker” is another common (and fake) occupation. In short, there is no end to the lies romance scammers will tell to get your money.

Reports show that romance scammers often use dating apps to target people looking for love. But reports of romance scams that start with unexpected private messages on social media platforms are even more common. In fact, 40% of people who said they lost money to a romance scam last year said the contact started on social media; 19% said it started on a website or app.[3] Many people reported that the scammer then quickly moved the sweet talk to WhatsApp, Google Chat or Telegram.[4]

You may have heard of romance scammers who tell you they are sick, injured or in jail – or give you another fake reason to send them money. But did you know that many romance scammers work by offering to do you a favor? They may claim to be a successful cryptocurrency investor who will teach you how it’s done. But any money you “invest” goes straight into their wallet. In another twist, they may say they sent you a valuable package (not true), requiring you to send money for “customs” or some other made-up fee. It’s all a lie. You send the money, and the package never arrives.

Reports also show that scammers who convince you to share explicit photos will then threaten to share them with your social media contacts. It’s called sextortion, and these reports have increased more than eightfold since 2019.[5] People aged 18-29 were more than six times more likely to report having sex than people 30 and over.[6] Approximately 58% of 2022 sex spill reports identified social media as the contact method, [7] with Instagram and Snapchat at the top of the list.[8]

The way romance scammers take your money is another important part of the story. People reported sending more money to romance scams using cryptocurrency and bank wires than any other method: together they accounted for more than 60% of reported losses to romance scams in 2022.[9] Although it is not the most expensive payment method,[10] Gift cards were the most reported – 24% of people who reported losing money to a romance scam in 2022 said it was taken with gift cards.[11]

So how can you spot a romance scammer in the act?

No one who is legitimate will ever ask you to help – or insist that you invest – by sending cryptocurrency, giving the numbers on a gift card, or wire money. Anyone who does is a scammer. If someone tells you to send money to receive a package, you can bet it’s a scam. Talk to friends or family about a new love interest and notice if they are concerned. Try a reverse image search of profile pictures. If the details don’t match, it’s a scam.

Help stop scammers by reporting suspicious profiles or messages to the dating app or social media platform. Then tell the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov. If someone tries to extort you, report it to the FBI. Learn more at ftc.gov/romancescams.

[1]This figure and figures throughout this Spotlight are based on reports to the FTC’s Consumer Sentinel Network (Sentinel) that have been classified as romance scams. Reports submitted to the Internet Crimes Complaint Center (IC3) before 2019 are not included in Sentinel. To ensure greater consistency in reporting trends over time, IC3 reports were excluded from earlier Spotlights on romance scams, but are now included in this Spotlight to focus on the scale and nature of the losses. Reported romance scam losses from all Sentinel sources per year are as follows: $493M (2019), $730M (2020), $1.3M (2021) $1.3M (2022). Because the vast majority of fraud is not reported to the government, these figures reflect only a small fraction of the public harm. See Anderson, KB Who do victims of mass market consumer fraud complain to? at 1 (May 2021), available at https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3852323 (study showed that only 4.8% of people who experienced mass market consumer fraud at a Better Business Bureau or a government entity).

[2]Reports provided by MoneyGram and Western Union are excluded for this median loss calculation as these data contributors report each loss transaction separately, which typically affects the calculation of an individual’s median loss. As noted in footnote 1, reports provided by IC3 were excluded from earlier Spotlights on romance scams, but are included in this Spotlight. For this reason, this median loss figure should not be compared with previous Spotlights.

[3]These figures exclude reports that did not identify a contact method. Of 2022 loss reports that identified social media as the contact method and mentioned a specific platform, 29% mentioned Instagram and 28% Facebook.

[4] About 40% of 2022 romance scam loss reports with detailed narratives called WhatsApp, Google Chat, or Telegram. Detailed narratives are defined here as narratives of at least 2,000 characters in length

[5] This figure excludes reports contributed by IC3, as not all IC3 reports on sextortion are included in Sentinel. Romance scams involving sex dumping were identified using keyword analysis of the narratives provided in reports.

[6] This age comparison is normalized against the population size of each age group. The analysis is based on US Census Bureau data for population by age. See US Census Bureau, Annual Estimates of the Resident Population for Selected Age Groups by Sex for the United States (June 2020), available at https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/popest/ 2010’s-national -detail.html. This excludes reports contributed by IC3, as not all IC3 reports on sextortion are included in Sentinel.

[7] This figure excludes reports that did not identify a contact method.

[8] Of 2,022 sextortion reports that identified social media as the contact method and mentioned a specific platform, 41% mentioned Instagram and 31% Snapchat.

[9] Figures relating to payment methods exclude reports that did not identify a payment method and reports provided by Western Union and MoneyGram. Figures relating to bank transfers are based on reports indicating “bank transfer or payment” as the payment method.

[10] In 2022, the median individual reported loss was $700 when gift cards were identified as the payment method for romance scams. In comparison, the median individual reporting losses on other top payment methods were as follows: $10,079 (cryptocurrency), $10,000 (bank transfer or payment) and $650 (payment program or service). The gift card payment method includes cards that hold a specific cash value that can be used for purchases and recharge cards such as MoneyPak that are used to add value to these cards.

[11] This figure excludes reports that did not indicate a payment method.